


Anagnorisis

by orphan_account



Category: Too Many Cooks - Fandom
Genre: Community: LiteraryFanFiction, Control, Free Will, Gen, Internal Monologue, Meta, Monologue, Post-Modern, agency, automatism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-21
Updated: 2014-11-21
Packaged: 2018-02-26 10:54:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2649353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As Katie runs from Bill, she reflects on how much she saw coming, and what she might have done to stop it. What kind of choices do we have, anyway, and how much of what we do is really out of our control? A short monologue for "Control" week at LiteraryFanFiction.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Anagnorisis

It feels really natural, until you realize that it's not.

I mean, doesn't anything? There are so many things we do automatically, each day, without understanding how or why. A word here, a smile there. We don't think about putting one foot in front of the other when we walk. We don't think of why we use the exact same words to describe something hours or days apart. It's so easy to go through life, thinking we're making choices, when so many of them are made for us, somewhere we can't reach.

Do you ever think, ok, I'm going to smile now, when you see someone, or a camera? No, you don't. You just do it. It's ingrained in us, a part of our nature. It is what we are. We see a face and we smile, and our minds are focused on something else—on what we think of that person, on why we're smiling, but the choice is already made for us.

Have you ever heard something behind you when your eyes were locked, lips curled up?

Have you ever just been in the middle of one of those introductions, mouth turned up serenely, and then all of a sudden he's just there, behind you, the strange sound of static coming from nowhere, the familiar music you're so used to hearing everywhere suddenly from the wrong source? Do you know how hard it is to take control back, to pull yourself out of that loop of what you've done millions of times and turn around, look, move before the ritual is complete, before the introduction done?

And now I'm thinking about putting one foot in front of the other, thinking about the exact words running through my head, the words I've heard a million times before. Now every instinct, every script in my head is telling me to stand and smile and I am looking for a place to hide.

How much choice did I really have? I heard the signs, but I couldn't heed them until it was almost too late. I know I'm not the only one. I know if I'd been anywhere else I might not have heard it coming.

And how much choice does he have, as he opens the door to find me?

was̢ it m̷y̵ ̡na͡ḿe̛ ̨tha͢t́ ͡g͢av͏e͘ ͘m̧e̸ a͞w̶


End file.
